x-men III : The Last Bland

Body Count :
Xavier – dead
Cyclops – Dead
Jean Grey / Phoenix – dead
Almost every new mutant added to the roster for their 5 minutes of fame – dead
Then there’s folks like Magneto and Mystique who had their mutant powers taken from them by the CURE.
Then there’s Rogue who went to the abortion, i mean mutant cure clinic, to have her powers removed by choice.
Don’t forget Angel who gets introduced only so that he can fly in at the end and save his daddy.
Beast gets to fight but, like the Yoda scene in Star Wars 2, it’s too little too late.
Jean Grey spends the whole movie standing around.
Wolverine spends it whining like a little bitch.
Storm spends it poorly acting though she does have compitition in the form of the mutant who can sense other mutants’ powers.

Bonus Features :
Although his powers were stripped from him, Magneto moved a metal chess piece WITH HIS MAGNETIC MIND at the very end.
And if you were stupid enough to have believed that something cool happens at the end, you get to see that Prof. Xavier might have just maybe answered the ethical question, “if I am destroyed by a telekinetik psycho more powerful than even Carrie, is it o.k. to inhabit a consciousless body so that we can make a 4th movie?”

Posted in Uncategorized | 7 Comments »

7 Responses to “x-men III : The Last Bland”

  1. clunky Says:

    thanks buddy.

  2. rp Says:

    um. seriously. it’s called a spoiler alert. use it. seriously.

  3. Horgan Says:

    You ruined my life!!
    WAAAAHHHH!!!

  4. matt-o Says:

    naughty naughty.
    i remember when i wrote an email detailing an I-10 roadside attraction and felt the backlash.

  5. Jay Says:

    So it’s like how Jerome ends up in prison at the end of Art School Confidential.

  6. baby courageous Says:

    hahah
    touche

  7. dehumidifier Says:

    geek

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