Last night I had this awesome dream that involved me DJing a dance party. At some point just as I was kicking out the jams motherfucker, all these vampires showed up. They were the hipster version of Lost Boys vampires. So throughout the rest of the party there was this constant threat of the vampires going shithouse crazy and killing everyone. But instead the just partied with everyone. I guess as hipster vampires they were all too cool to suck blood.

What better way to come back from the dead than with this Amazon delight

Gratuitous Reviews
Let me say this, after an agonizingly painful and bloody few months of trying all different types of Anal Douche Systems, (plastic, electric, stainless steel, and plexiglass) I can’t tell how much of a relief this product is to my anus. This really is the “Ultimate” “anal douche hygienic system”. Not only does it leave ::pirate accent:: “me squeaky” clean! it is great for a variety of uses like to use on my wife during the act of love making or mixing cake batter for my son’s twelfth birthday. The rectal probes fit comfortably and are very easy to clean and store. If you’re looking for an excellent Anal Douche System with personality, this is for you.

A very easy to use product, not messy at all and insertion smooth. Clean up after use is a breeze.

Not so fast . . . I use this around the garage. If you are picky about your car and do your own detailing like I do, you’ll find that nothing can inject your preferred cleanser into those hard to reach vent intakes and door jambs like the Ultimate Anal Douche. The long spout is a good “third hand” for awkward repairs, like brake jobs. Also, since my dog sleeps in the garage, I find that this thing doubles as a handy “vet’s assistant” when the kids have fed him too many cookies, if you know what I mean. If you are looking for value without all the frills, try and find the more economical Brutal Anal Douche.

ok Now I’ve gotten the Anal Douch post out of my system.
Time to continue freezing my ass off in my heatless house
YAY HOME OWNERSHIP!