I’m in a show coming up called Schreibstuck. One of the requirements is that I have to be “in shape” for it. You know for all the bad ass dancing I will be doing in it. Cue Laughter.
So I was placed on a work out plan. Cue Laughter.
It involved Jumping Rope and PushUps and Walking Lunges and other things. I went and bought a jumprope and everything. I’m all amped to get going with my plan and I realize there’s NOWHERE to jump rope in my house. That and like an old man whose been in his fair share of car flipping accidents it totally fucking killed my back. Cue Laughter.
So now that that plan is tanked, I’ve been placed on a new one (sans jumprope) that has added Chin Ups to the roster. First Stop : Dick’s Sporting Goods. I picked up a ChinUp bar that I had reservations about. You see, you have to mount it to one of the doorways in your house. Mounting requires screws. Screws require tools. Tools are probably the one thing I belong around less than Sporting Goods stores. As easy as it sounds, I knew I was going to botch the job. And I did. The first try, one side fit perfectly but the other end did not. This was due mostly to the fact that I foolishly placed it on the side of the doorway with the door. Second time, I found the perfect spot. Big Wide doorjamb to accomodate the mounting brackets.nothing to get in it’s way. I mounted the brackets and went to place the rod and realized I picked the one doorway in the house that was narrower than all the others. IDIOT! Third time’s the charm. Halfway through mounting the brackets the drill died on me.
Huzzah, after patiently waiting for the drill to charge up by going to a bar and drinking, I finally got it mounted and pulled off a whopping 5 Pull Ups. Cue Laughter.