December 25, 2008

Simply Having

Aloha From Heaven : Kittenfish Mountain

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Last Christmas : Jimmy Eat World

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12 Days Of Christmas : Bob & Doug Mackenzie

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Christmas In Hollis : Run DMC

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Santa Claus Conquers The Martians : MST3K

Bad Santa

Christmas At Ground Zero : Weird Al Yankovic

The Spirit Of Christmas


Little Drummer Boy : An Alcoholic and A Coke Head

and…
The Most Annoying Christmas Song Ever

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December 23, 2008

The Thesaurus Years

According to thesaurus.com :

Main Entry: brainstorm
Part of Speech: verb
Definition: problem-solve
Synonyms: analyze, conceive, conceptualize, conjure up, create, deliberate, dream up, invent, plan, ponder, put heads together, rack brains, share ideas, think

According to thesaladyears.com :

Main Entry: brainstorm
Part of Speech: verb
Definition: problem-solve
Synonyms: gangbang

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December 18, 2008

Unemployed Freelancer

Seriously Though

Will Code For Food

Will Code For Food

It’s probably been about 3 months since I have had a steady source of income. I didn’t think I’d need to pull out the cardboard sign again. But here I am, on the corner of Interstate Off Ramp and Ghetto Street panhandling for a banner resize, flash project, or css blowjob. I’m almost not a dollar menunaire anymore.

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December 16, 2008

SELECT DISTINCT

anyone know anyone that likes writing MySQL queries more than me?

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December 8, 2008

Skank Surgeons

Now that i’m back on the boob tube wagon, I’m seeing a lot of commercials for a line of relaxing products to use at home. Massage chairs, massage foot warmers, massage remotes, massage remote control helicoptors, massage tubs, massage shawls, and the like. The company has taken its name from the primary use – the HOME – and the intended purpose – BODY MEDICINE. Combine those and you get HOMEDICS.

Rather than its intent – Home Medics – all I can see is Ho Medics. Gone are the days of doctors and nurses. Lick your wounds by literally having your wounds licked. You want a kiss to make it all better – you got it. And if all else fails, she’ll fuck you for an extra hundred. (I know that’s a low price but please note: these are hos not legitimate prostitutes)

Well, now that the commercial is about over and I’m done daydreaming at least the announcer will pronounce it properly; with the M-sound carried over so as to….nope. He plainly just called them Ho Medics.

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