Now that i’m back on the boob tube wagon, I’m seeing a lot of commercials for a line of relaxing products to use at home. Massage chairs, massage foot warmers, massage remotes, massage remote control helicoptors, massage tubs, massage shawls, and the like. The company has taken its name from the primary use – the HOME – and the intended purpose – BODY MEDICINE. Combine those and you get HOMEDICS.

Rather than its intent – Home Medics – all I can see is Ho Medics. Gone are the days of doctors and nurses. Lick your wounds by literally having your wounds licked. You want a kiss to make it all better – you got it. And if all else fails, she’ll fuck you for an extra hundred. (I know that’s a low price but please note: these are hos not legitimate prostitutes)

Well, now that the commercial is about over and I’m done daydreaming at least the announcer will pronounce it properly; with the M-sound carried over so as to….nope. He plainly just called them Ho Medics.