Friday : Samurai Davis Jr and Dim Sum’s Super Mega Happy Fun Time Improv Show

Well, we ran another fine season of Atlanta’s only improvised Japanese Game Show. Hell, I’d say THE WORLD’S only! Complete with humiliating punishments, some of which I endured being Tartar Sauce Toothpaste (brushing my teeth with tartar sauce), Sloppy Slip & Slide (an unrolled garbage bag roll covered in chocolate syrup, tartar sauce, maple syrup, clam juice, and other foul and wretched liquids), a laser tag set whose gun shocks you when your opponent shoots you, Clothespin Face (you can imagine), Jam Pits (jams and jellies rubbed in the pits), Potted Meats Socks, Eating a Raw Onion, Drinking a glass of Clam Juice, and a host of other things I am sure are equally heinous. Closing the show was bittersweet. I’m gonna miss getting Vaseline Belly at the top of the show (A samurai with vaseline on his belly rubs your face in it)

and then spending 90 minutes under stage lights with vaseline dripping off my face, getting rewarded a couple times (and avoiding the chocolate-vanilla-wasabi-anchovy milkshake in the process) only to suffer the Diet Coke-Menthos shower followed by Human Car Wash.

My Fridays will be much duller the remainder of the year.

Saturday : Todd Barry
Front row VIP seats to Todd Barry. Our secret mission…By the end of the night, he was gonna come out with us.

Some mid-show banter and well placed post show conversation later, he joined us at our favorite hang, the Euclid Avenue Yacht Club. Mission Accomplished!

Sunday : Bruce Springsteen

A board member scored some floor seats to see The Boss. Holy Fuck was he awesome. 3 hours of ass-kicking, fist-pumping, heart-stopping, booty-shaking, Rock&Roll. Opened with Badlands. Brilliant. Played a slightly upbeat Johnny 99. Used the mic stand as a stripper pole and dropped down so his body was parallel to and about an inch off the floor with nothing but one hand on the mic stand to hold him up. Also, Max Weinberg’s long haired 18-year-old son played drums in a few jams. There’s an interesting E Street Phenomenon that as they age, Bruce gets cutter and more in shape, while the band gets older and droopier. L’il Steve Van Zandt pulled out an itty bitty guitar and I was convinced Tiny Tim joined the crew.

Commence to jealousin’

I know life has almost become laughable when Pick 5’s start giving me anxiety attacks.

or

I shall never own a traditional business card again. Nor one without half my face on it. Embossed lettering here I come!

I received this book of German stories when I was 4 years old. It’s called Der Struwwelpeter (which basically translates to Shock Headed Peter). It contains morality fables for kids. Frighteningly bizarre ones. I think my favorite was always Die Geschichte vom Daumenlutscher (The Story of the Little Thumb Sucker). It basically tells the tale of a boy who sucks his thumbs when his mother is away and then a terrifying tailor swoops in and cuts off his thumbs. The translation is more literal than rhyming to try and recapture the full impact this had on me as a child.

“Konrad!” the mother spoke,
“I’m going out and you will stay here.
Be a good boy
Until I come back home
And above all, Konrad, hear!
Suck your thumb no more;
Because the Tailor with the Scissors
Will come along like the wind,
And your thumbs he’ll cut
Off, as if they were paper.”

Away now the mother goes and
SHWOOP! the thumbs into the mouth.

BANG! There the Door swings open,
And in here so fast he runs
The Tailor jumps into the room
To the thumb sucker boy.

Pain! Now it goes open and close
with the Scissors the thumbs off,
with the large sharp Scissors!
OWWWW! There shreiks Konrad much.
As the mother comes to house,
Konrad looks sad.
Without thumbs he stands there,
All alone in shame.

Am I the only one that thinks this is gross? Or will at least put you in sugar shock.

• One 1.75 liter bottle of vodka
• Five 8.5 ounce flasks or bottles
• One 1 pound bag of Skittles
• Five empty plastic water bottles
• A funnel
• Bowls for separating the Skittles into flavors
• A measuring cup (not pictured)
• Coffee filters or paper towels

Those are the supplies for the adventure that can be followed along with here. Posted in Uncategorized | 1 Pimp Slap »