1. i got a tetanus shot
2. my arm hurts
3. my doctor’s office lost my pee
4. in a hurry to get my scooter on my lunch break i left my iPod in my car
5. some crazy bum stole 2 pairs of gloves, a tuch, and random other shit from inside my scooter seat (thank you broken lock courtesy of scooter repair shop)
6. my passenger window got smashed and i am now one iPod Touch poorer (see #4)
7. upon discovering the broken window it started raining
8. i forgot to eat lunch
9. the pizza joint i went to for dinner forgot all about my slice
10. i saw comedy burlesque (boobs AND laughter)
11. upon arriving to DJ at the Ballroom this evening, my headphones broke
12. some girl – we’ll call her some drunk skank – kept yelling at me to play Timbaland
13. i am pretty positive hookers were at the Ballroom
14. that same drunk skank yelled at me for being a liar after politely asking her to let go of my arm cause it’s swoll with tetanus pain
    • (p.s. this is how NOT to get songs you request played)
    • this is also how to get me to tell everyone i see about you thereby beginning a chain reaction of people jokingly yelling for Timbaland all night
15. same drunk skank threw a tantrum insisting that the drink i was just handed seconds ago was hers
    • this is how drunk skanks get bounced
16. eyewitnesses reported that our favorite drunk skank wound up in the bathroom crying
17. i smiled

so… the balloon boy is safe. whoopee! Like all news stories that grab a nation’s attention with a sense of “oh that poor child in the well” commentary, the boy was safe and sound at home… the last place anyone looked apparently since it took 2 hours. Well, I for one am already penning the made-for-tv movie version and have decided to follow the not-so-harrowing tale exactly; but it’s punched up a little with creative liberties and for dramatic purpose towards the end.

You see, the balloon boy (whose birthday it is) actually falls out of the balloon. As he is whipping through the air he prays for a birthday miracle… just then a winged pegasus-type creature swoops in as the boy is falling through the air. When the mythical beast gets close enough to the boy to save him, it …opens its mouth revealing rows and rows of gnarly fangs and devours the boy mid air but not before tossing it about like a cat with a wounded mouse.

I think I will sell it to A&E and call it “The Birthday Miracle.”

my therapist found this kitten and offered it to me cause she thinks i’d make a cool parent for it..
should i adopt it?

I’m actually considering it. Only thing I’m worried about is kitten + records = scratching post party!

when trying to give an example of a word i couldn’t find this morning i stated :
it’s used to describe a mad scientists methods or the methods of a scientist gone mad

yup. those are the same.
also the word was unconventional. wow, that was easy.
thank you early morning brain.