so… the balloon boy is safe. whoopee! Like all news stories that grab a nation’s attention with a sense of “oh that poor child in the well” commentary, the boy was safe and sound at home… the last place anyone looked apparently since it took 2 hours. Well, I for one am already penning the made-for-tv movie version and have decided to follow the not-so-harrowing tale exactly; but it’s punched up a little with creative liberties and for dramatic purpose towards the end.

You see, the balloon boy (whose birthday it is) actually falls out of the balloon. As he is whipping through the air he prays for a birthday miracle… just then a winged pegasus-type creature swoops in as the boy is falling through the air. When the mythical beast gets close enough to the boy to save him, it …opens its mouth revealing rows and rows of gnarly fangs and devours the boy mid air but not before tossing it about like a cat with a wounded mouse.

I think I will sell it to A&E and call it “The Birthday Miracle.”